Author Archive

Lift Your Breasts and Raise Your Voice
America`s Next Top Model Season 4 - Episode 7
Summary by Kvm711, 4/16/2005

Six Down, Three to Go
Survivor Season 10: Palau - Episode 6
Summary by Kvm711, 3/27/2005

Landon, the Knife of the Party
The Real World Season 15: Philadelphia - Episode 17
Summary by Kvm711, 1/9/2005

Large Hips Sink Ships
America`s Next Top Model Season 3 - Episode 7
Summary by Kvm711, 11/6/2004

I`m out of Breath Just Watching This - Amazing Race finale
Amazing Race Season 5 - Episode 12
Summary by Kvm711, 9/24/2004

The Olympdicks
Big Brother Season 5 - Week 8
Summary by Kvm711, 8/29/2004

My Ego Is Bigger Than Yours!
Big Brother Season 5 - Week 3
Summary by Kvm711, 7/24/2004

Finally, the Rape Episode!
The Real World Season 14: San Diego - Episode 26
Summary by Kvm711, 6/30/2004

I`m leaving!... just as soon as I make the most dramatic exit possible
The Real World Season 14: San Diego - Episode 21
Summary by Kvm711, 5/26/2004

Shii Ann Upsets, Alicia Just Plain Upset
Survivor Season 8: All-Stars - Episode 12
Summary by Kvm711, 4/25/2004

I`m Sorry That It`s Not My Fault
The Real World Season 14: San Diego - Episode 10
Summary by Kvm711, 3/1/2004

Hopelessly Devoted to... Brew
The Real World Season 14: San Diego - Episodes 1 & 2
Summary by Kvm711, 1/8/2004

Quitters Never Win, But Losers Do
Survivor Season 7: Pearl Islands - Episodes 7 and 8
Summary by Kvm711, 11/10/2003

Licking the Competition
RW/RR Challenge Season 07: The Gauntlet - Episode 5
Summary by Kvm711, 10/23/2003

Rupert phone home
Survivor Season 7: Pearl Islands - Episode 5
Summary by Kvm711, 10/20/2003

Rocco`s – A Whorehouse Disguised as a Restaurant
The Restaurant Season 1 - Finale
Summary by Kvm711, 8/28/2003

Does for restaurants what The Bachelor did for marriage.

The Revolving Door of Whining Complainers
Road Rules Season 12: South Pacific - Episodes 10 and 11
Summary by Kvm711, 8/6/2003
Bok bok!

Mallory is a Dirty, Dirty Girl
The Real World Season 13: Paris - Episode 9
Summary by Kvm711, 7/23/2003

Is That an Ion Lifesaver in Your Speedo Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
RW/RR Challenge Season 06 - Battle of the Suckses - Episode 15
Summary by Kvm711, 4/15/2003

Boot Camp Back in Action
Current Events - Iraq
Summary by Kvm711, 3/21/2003
Humble has-beens doing their part.

Ninety Minutes of Non-Stop Stereotypes
Survivor Season 6: The Amazon - Episode 1
Summary by Kvm711, 2/17/2003

Why The Mole Is My Favorite Show Of All
The Mole Celebrity Mole 1 - Episode 2
Summary by Kvm711, 1/16/2003

Why James denies his brothers.

Celebrating in His Birthday Suit
The Real World Season 12: Las Vegas - Episode 16
Summary by Kvm711, 1/8/2003
Irulan turns 6! That`s this many.

The Asshole Beats the Ass Lover
Survivor Season 5: Thailand - Reunion
Summary by Kvm711, 12/22/2002

I hate this country.

Erin Go Bra!
Survivor Season 5: Thailand - Episode 8
Summary by Kvm711, 11/9/2002
Survivor is the most spiritually powerful show ever.

he.

E! True Hollywood Story: SugarPie
The Anna Nicole Show Season 1 - SugarPie Bio
Summary by Kvm711, 9/1/2002
One dog`s descent into madness.

Memorable Quotes From the Chicago Season
The Real World Season 11: Chicago - Quotes
Summary by Kvm711, 8/5/2002

Take a stroll down Memory Lane with Kvm711.

Sock That Cockblock!
Sorority Life Season 1 - Episode 7
Summary by Kvm711, 7/30/2002
Yes, it`s "Sorority Life," MTV`s latest attempt to remove all erotic connotations to the word "catfight." Booooo!

Kyle`s Storybook Love
The Real World Season 11: Chicago - RW Fairy Tales
Summary by Kvm711, 7/15/2002
Written and (poorly) illustrated by Kvm711.

Bring In `Da Noise, Bring In `Da Fat
Road Rules Season 11: Campus Crawl - Episode 5
Summary by Kvm711, 7/9/2002
Atlanta, GA receives its most unpleasant guests since Sherman`s troops burned it to the ground.

The Bachelor in Golden Estate
Other TV 2002 - The Bachelor
Summary by Kvm711, 6/10/2002

The gums are bared in the fierce, sexy competition for the worldly, incontinent bachelor Beauregard.

Memorable Quotes From the Challenge
RW/RR Challenge Season 05 - Battle of the Seasons - Quotes
Summary by Kvm711, 6/5/2002

Stroll down memory lane with Kvm711.

Racism and Lies: Segregate and Watergate
Survivor Season 4: Marquesas - Episode 12
Summary by Kvm711, 5/18/2002
This week: Paschal reaches new heights in sanctimonious hubris (he probably thinks his diarrhea don`t stink); Neleh`s nasal shrieks and Cindy Brady baby talk still annoy; Sean runs his mouth a lot too much (even if he was right); and Kathy continues to state and restate the obvious over and over like she thinks she is saying something smart. Oh yeah and there was a lot of excitement over some race.

Piss on Me or Piss Me Off!
Survivor Season 4: Marquesas - Episode 3
Summary by Kvm711, 3/15/2002
Hallelujah, it`s raining... EW!

Phoneiness Abounds
RW/RR Challenge Season 05 - Battle of the Seasons - Episode 6
Summary by Kvm711, 2/26/2002
This week, Kvm711 listened in on some phone conversations, found religion and watched some dopes on ropes.

The Pain in the Glass Returns
The Real World Season 11: Chicago - Episode 6
Summary by Kvm711, 2/13/2002
Will Theo and Tonya ever be able to pick up the shards of their shattered friendship? Kvm711 breakss out the dustpan for The Pain in the Glass Returns.

The Tightrope That Would Not Break
RW/RR Challenge Season 04 - Extreme Challenge - Episode 11
Summary by Kvm711, 10/14/2001

Adam and Ellen`s Relationship Takes a Bow
Road Rules Season 10: The Quest - Episode 9
Summary by Kvm711, 10/12/2001

Sow What If There`s More Conflict? This Show Is Still Boaring!
Big Brother Season 2 - Episode 15
Summary by Kvm711, 8/7/2001

All of America is going hog wild for Big Brother! Kvm711 hams it up in his Tuesday recap Sow What If There`s More Conflict? This Show Is Still Boaring!

Real World 10th Anniversary Crossword Puzzle
The Real World Xtras - Crossword Puzzle
Summary by Kvm711, 6/10/2001

Look back at a decade of misery by identifying each media whore through identifying quotes.

If At First You Don`t Succeed...
The Real World Season 10: Back to New York - Episode 21
Summary by Kvm711, 6/6/2001

Rene`s Been Dumped? I Demand a Recount!
The Real World Season 10: Back to New York - Episode 3
Summary by Kvm711, 6/6/2001

How to Program a VCR
Big Brother Season 2 - Learning with Monica
Summary by Kvm711, 6/6/2001

Britney Spears Is A Respectable Artistic Musician
Music - Britney Spears
Summary by Kvm711, 5/31/2001

So posits Kvm711 as he stands up tall and erect in defense of Britney Spears and her art with his scholarly dissection of her latest music video.

RW Bio - Flora, Miami
The Real World Season 05: Miami - Bio - Flora
Summary by Kvm711, 5/5/2001

RW Bio - Pam, San Francisco
The Real World Season 03: San Francisco - Bio - Pam
Summary by Kvm711, 5/5/2001

I`m Not Gay, But My Date Sure Is
Survivor Season 3: Africa - Episode 9
Summary by Kvm711, 4/4/2001

Back from Africa - Who Returned Their Passports?!?!
Survivor Season 3: Africa - Reunion Special
Summary by Kvm711, 4/4/2001

The Baby Boom - The Explosion That Rocked An Island
Temptation Island Season 1 - Episode 4
Summary by Kvm711, 1/31/2001

Scary Media Hoes` Prose
Fear Season 1 - Hopkins Military Academy
Summary by Kvm711, 1/1/2001

Oh How This Show (Frost)Bites
Amazing Race Season 1 - Episode 12
Summary by Kvm711, 1/1/2001

Spider Cider
Fear Season 1 - Duggan Bros. Cement Factory
Summary by Kvm711, 1/1/2001

Christ! This Show Stinks!
Fear Season 1 - La Guerre Plantation
Summary by Kvm711, 1/1/2001

Boo Hoo, Joe Gets Less Action Than The Show
Fear Season 2 - Ki Sugar Mill
Summary by Kvm711, 1/1/2001

Lollaballoonza
Boot Camp Season 1 - Episode 5
Summary by Kvm711, 1/1/2001

Elegantly Wasted
Big Brother Season 1 - Day 72
Summary by Kvm711, 9/14/2000

Of Tequila & Children
Big Brother Season 1 - Day 27
Summary by Kvm711, 7/31/2000

Mean, Mean Daddy
The Real World Season 09: New Orleans - Episode 18
Summary by KVM711, 7/7/2000

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