PakaloloGirl's RWS/RWB Quote Page

THIS PLACE HAS A VENEREAL, CUNTY SMELL. A CATHOUSE OF BITCHING AND BACKBITING. YOU ALL NEED A COLD DOUCHE.
-ANONYMOUS

Quotes from the Real World Sucks (RIP) and Real World Blows 
message boards.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 5/12/99 - 9/29/99 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I feel like shit! I thought someone had slipped something into my second bottle of Vodka, but I guess I just Ruthied last night. I can be so Nate sometimes." -Damitol

"RW 8: The Phantom Penis
Featuring:
Jar Jar Teck - Skinny and silly, this gangly goofball is good for occasional comic relief. He is also the inspiration for the show title.
Queen Amayadala - This beautiful princess cares about those around her and fights to help them out. Though she can be stern when it is needed, she is defined by her sweet nature and her willingness to help others. And she has bodacious ta-tas.
Obiwan Colinobi - Ths handsome young man is partners with Qui-Gon Justinn. They share their room, their secrets and their light sabers. Toghther they battle the Evil Empire, Butt Monkey Porkers. The force is strong in this youth and he has serious hero potential.
Qui-Gon Justinn - Quiet, observant and intelligent, he still wasn't smart enough to defeat the Evil Empire. He makes an early exit.
Matt3PO - He is built like a human, he talks like a human, but he just ain't human. A personalityless mass of tangled wires and pretty metal.
Ruthie the Hut - This is one ugly ass alien! She likes to have fun and is a major party animal.
She indulges in food, drink and sin sin sin and is often unintellegible.
And she likes chicks.
Darth Mage - A creature of unparalled evil, she offers ominous mantras such as "face your fears and they shall cease to be...look at my titties!" before sucking the life force from her opponents with her'charisma'. She carries duel light sabers insidiously disguised as breasts" -DiscoGirl

"....Peggy won't eat meat or cheese or eggs but she WILL suck on a cigarette???
Yes, our Kaia is such an enigma.
Or an idiot..." -Kamuela

"it's funny when you think about the mask. <Pua's> makeup wasn't quite like anyone elses. i think the makeup artist decided a mask of shame would be appropriate." -dipes

"Ayanna: When you pontificate on the aggregate majority you realize that we lack the segregation and that aperendagnation which nesecitates the olllyollyoxenfree of the goup mentality." -Disco Girl

"it probably will never end. even if they ran out of cities, they'd probably film it on the moon. 'this is the story, of seven really annoying people, picked to live in a bubble on the moon, to find out what happens when people stop being real and start suffocating because nada decided to hijack a rocket ship and aim it directly at the bubble and kill them all'" -nada

"kid rock was just sad...it was like when you went to the fair when you were little and there was a sign that said 'the fattest person alive' and you pay a buck and think its gonna be some big happy smiling enormous person but it ends up being some rally sad looking obese guy sitting on a chair in a cage next to the two headed goat's feces and when you left you felt really filthy and just plain shitty for having seen it." -nada

"And, of course, Kubby, our mascot, a loveable brown bear who enjoys scenes of nudity, smoking, and bi-curious cast members." Ktel

"And, hey Margaret, you better serve those pancakes before they get cold." -Ajax

"What would have happened if Ruthie was on Seattle....Rebecca---initially sad about ruthies departure, later glad they kept the vodka in the house, tells how much the vodka has changed, gives the vodka a big hug at the end." -Discokooter

"nate would have probably passed out next to ruthie and then tried to get busy with her right there on the bathroom floor while her eyes were rolling in the back of her head- then cut to him in the confessional saying he'd never cheat on stephanie but you know, he's half flesh." -nada

"Matt needs to be a chronic masturbator, cannibal curious or at least drink his own urine for health reasons to keep this board alive. Do you understand now? It is for the good of the board." -Damitol

"Regardless of whether they blur her, ala Alanis, I have no desire to see that much of Margret (or, in her Esperanto name, Poopoo)." -Ktel

"Kaia (or L'Elle nipples, her french name)" -Indigo

"Wow Ruthie is like five or six after school specials rolled into one!" -Weezie

"The most glaring non-mammary body part I noticed so far has to be Justin's schnozz." -AC

"Abecam is now natural part of my desktop. All other applications have to be sized so that abeam is visible. Squinting is a small price to pay. Beeen there for about a half hour, now. Saw Abe watching Abe and sensed that he knew I was there. Have to go to bed soon. Must buy new flowered housedress to watch AbeCam in tomorrow. Must call Humane society ask them to bring by some more cats, Fifi and Fluffy are getting lonely and aren't as much fun to talk to anymore. People called from work again, reminded them that I said I had a family emergency and to leave me the hell alone. Someone knocked at the door earlier, yelled at them from behind curtains to go away. Hair pulling getting worse, completely bald over right ear now. Mysterious yellow rash on arm turned out to be highlighter accident, will remember to re-cap tightly next time. The himming is getting louder and gaining substance. Tin Foil! Can use tin foil to cover the windows, won't expect that." -TabTab

"1) You came here and plugged your own site. tisk tisk. Thats in violation of RWB law section C11904/A
2) You brought a hoard of dumbass's with you.
3) You threatened the posters--lucky i haven't said anyhting about that.
4)Called Corndog hotdog. How stupid can you be? one is in a light fluffy bun and the other is baked inside of dough DUH" -Nickrocks

"i wonder if jane goodall had this much trouble communicating with her apes. but of course this is our wiley abe! he can fool by crotch-scratching, so of course he will toy with me by putting the postit note, not where i asked him to put it, but in a similarly obvious place. is he monkeying with me?" -dipes

"Of course Brian would be the obvious winner of any mission involving manipulating a small pickle..." -Ajax

"For gods sake, pick your nose, pick your butt...something!!!" -Shannie

"Can i wear diapers if i win?" -rhinestone

"Ruthie- look at her eyes. Yeah- that 20 minute rehab session did *a lot* of good. She is obviously hanging on to the gay guy to keep standing for the photo." -Damitol

"Anybody know what that tattoo on Brian's arm is supposed to be? <Could it be> a flying pig, symbolic, perhaps, of how often he gets laid?" -Ajax

"'Bidding' is not what AC does on used panties." -AChater

"I thought Holly and I had something special going on early in the season from the way seh was looking at me (she was either looking at me or at the coffee table on the other sode of the room)." -Ajax

"And <John's> a member of the V club- how cute is that!" -Melissa Rivers

"its not about good music- its about "popular music" and there is a great distinction between the two." -nada

"Oh, I did call myself David Hasselhof for a couple of days but not on the board... it was just me in my swim trunks running around the house acting all buff." -Ajax

"Besides doubling as a year-round sun-visor/small-animal-refuge, The Brow also functions suberbly as a heavy duty safty bumper. The Brow is the immovable object that can resist the unstoppable head." -AC

"Brian- Urinates wildly without removing trousers, runs to bathroom and returns wearing womens clothing. Demands liquor, begins to chew on flotation device and explains to you how he is "afraid to love." Dies in crash but is posthumous hero since many survivors cling to giant floating head." -Ajax

"So many missions...so few memories...
...The Get Away From Me You Fat Pervert Mission.
...The Stay In The Air Conditioned Hotel All Day Long With The TV On Mission.
...The It's Not My Turn To Hose Down Brian Mission.
...The Stand Around And Scratch Butt Mission." -Ajax

"i'm a stand-in in 'footloose'." -nada

"You can tell <Sarah's> thinking, 'Josh is my newest and bestest freind but do I really want this hampster calling me every weekend?' I get the feeling Josh doesn't even have a phone anyway, probably just a tin can with a string through it so his mom can call him when he's in his treehouse a tell him his grilled cheese sandwich is ready." -Ajax

"If thats thier idea of crazy excitement, perhaps my mom should audition for the next season." -CityGirl

"I had to learn all about sex from the Curious George books in the public library... that could explain a lot." -Ajax

"My best freind's older sister used to think that 'maniac' song was 'she's Canadian, NAAA-dian'." -Ktel

"do aLL THe FuCKeD TyPiNG STuFF, WRiTe a STiNKy PoeM, kiSS DaiSy FueNTes' aSS, aND eaT LoT's O CHikkeN'." -rhinestone

"Caterpillar Girl: Sylvia, Brians Big Browed Babe (Her Uni-Brow curiously resembles a caterpillar) therefore any sexual actions between the two constitutes 'Caterpillar Love'." -Disco Girl

"Only Ajax could assume something like eyebrow slang was some perverse sexual activity." -Anyway

Josh-Isms:
"Snake island is hardcore hairy." -AC
"We are in hardcore stealthy mode." -AC
"Hey, can I be Crazy Cooter?" -TabTab
"The island we are going to is *SO* a big pile of jungle." -J
"Dude, I'm blowing on a shell and it makes noise, how cool is that?" -TabTab
"We are *SO* hunting spiders in Belize." -Andraste
"Maybe we will find these animal bones, and then put them together to make this bigger animal." -J
"This mass load of jungleness in the middle of the lake." -Ajax
"Through everybody's mind was going, you know man, this is hardcore!" -Ajax
"I think he's going the right way but I really don't want to follow him." -Ajax
"Keep your back totally peeled." -Ajax

"I Take Drugs Very Seriously At My House" -Ajax

"We promise promise promise not to let Menudo "Menu-don't" on the carpet!" -rhinestone

"Nada water, the official water of the RWB board." -Ktel

"Abe is swept away in a multicolored river created by Holly's tears and some barrels of Lik-em-Aid. He grabs for some nearby branches, remembers too late that he sliced them short earlier when he was given a knife to cut chocolates, and can't reach them." -Ktel

"Holly- Probably cries while listening to tape recordings of her old boyfriend brushing his teeth.
Sarah- Doesn't listen to music on her own... just complains when anyone else puts some on.
Josh- Hears beautiful music all the time... probably has brain tumor.
Brian- Has constant low buzzing sound in his ears from some insect that entered his head as a child.
Abe- Ears are decorative, can only detect loud thumping noises and high pitched squeals." -Ajax

"Holly: REALLY identifys with the 'hit me baby one more time' song by that loveable brat Britney Spears...
Abe: Whacks off to the Britney Spears video...
Brian: Dresses up in a Catholic school girl uniform and sings along with Britney Spears video..." -DiscoGirl

"Holly, what can I say, the girl is so dense light bends around her" -Katie

"But seriously, will we see a daring game of red rover on the next season <of road rules>?" -Maggie

"Could we please...
...send Fivehead in for some Brow Reduction Surgery and personality implants?
...send Abe back for some more evolution? Darwin says he's not done yet...
eesh..." -Kamuela

"It's really pathetic watching someone try to cover their ass. Bad news honey, they don't make panties that frickin' big" -PakaloloGirl

"Could it be, now, that Brian's Mexican monkey cousins are calling to him from the hills surrounding the city? Join us...join us...leave the others...bring bananas." -Ajax

"<Abe> gets a 'Dear Juan' letter from Suzie saying she got distracted by a shiny piece of foil wrapping on the coach meal during her plane home and forgot his name." -Kamuela

"Damnit Amelia, you know you can't fit in that dress. I'm still The Bitch of the Board. Eeeeee hee hee!" -AC

"SPLELL-CHECKER!!!!!!!!! SeattleStar were saved, we can type like the big boys now." -Nickrocks

"Nickrocks: Irenefan, your a bich.
Irenefan: That is spelled BITCH.
Nickrocks: Okay then, your a BITCH. Hahahah!" -DiscoGirl

"<Abe's> little brother called Brian fivehead when he came to visit." -J

"Wait, so AC is JK??? Am I the only one here that's not AC??? -SeattleStar

"RW Sucks board week in review
Is Kleo really a member of the new cult, the Rainbow Children who believe that God is a grasshopper in Wyoming thta got splattered on the windsheild of some old lady's car?
<AC> is very popular, he does the secret handshake with himself .
Nada apologized to Riproar for calling her a girl so many times that he can be found in 'the corner' twitching and mumbling, 'sorry.....so sorry' .
PakaloloGirl and PR are really living in an igloo in Alaska where they sit in front of their computer laughing at us all who actually belive their 'local motion' sightings." -JK

"The first bit was kind of clever, and we mistakenly allowed her to keep submitting, but it was soon obvious that her best work was behind her. Her stuff now is, uh was just ...sad." -Jimmy Olsen

"i agree. i suck." -corn(dog)

"She has a small mole that looks like abe lincoln on her ass." -rhinestone

"Ok, I think that makes the most sense. One post, but with individual kisses for each individual winning ass." -AC

"Remember the time that Nathan carved Stephanie's initials in his waterbed with a spoon he sharpened on a rock? ('Floor wet! Nate no like!') Neither do I." -Ajax

"Just remember if two girls wanna kiss in front of you- don't stop them!" -Nickrocks

"Hello parents- if you name your daughter 'Angie' or 'Roxane' then i think it's a safe bet you're going to see her, on television, sticking an inflatable man up her butt when she's 18." -Ajax

"Fuck you & your Wigwam too." -Rock Star

"Hey Sparkie, did you light any CANDLE OPERAS from your BOMBFIRE?" -Serena

"She needs to order a personality from J Crew or at least in her case, the JC Penny catalouge." -anyway

"They had a unflattering shot of <Brian> last week with his mouth wide open and it looked like he had WAY more than the general issue of teeth, almost in Fright Night mode...not necessarily demonic but far far far from human." -Ajax

"There was an obnoxiously loud group of guests that was being loud and obnoxious (I can't say who because coincidently, they left their name tags blank)." -AC

"Whenever the show came on I would scoop a little bit of her on the end of my knife and spread her all over my muffin." -Ajax

"This whole episode was one big feather up my ass." -Northern Soul

"I just woke up an hour ago behind a Denny's outside of Santa Fe wearing someone elses pants and sporting a 'Xena Rocks' tattoo the size of Wisconsin on my back." -Damitol

"I want to cast my vote for James Van der Geek as 'Most likely to help Brian Spawn a child whose head can be used as an Air Craft Carrier'." -Mmmmmmmmm(StickyKeys)

"Somebody tell them to say skin chandelier on the air! please please please!!! -rhinestone

"He walks like he has a massive flapping bird up his ass" -DiscoGirl

"I spell things wrong big fuckin' deal. I hope you take pride in picking on a kid for his spelling errors." -SeattleStar