This site and
message board were
established to give a voice to those that see through the veneer of "reality" and cool that the
Real World and its bastard children have tried to perpetrate, and point out their many, many (did we mention "many"?) flaws. Recently we have expanded to cover other media topics besides
Reality
TV. This site has given thousands of posters and hundreds of thousands of lurkers a good laugh at the
various shows' expense for
over four years. 99.99% of the content that you see on the site originated on our
Message
Board
— the main function of the site being to serve as a placeholder for the Message
Board.
Naturally over time, we've seen many good posters (and a couple of psychos) come and go (then come back only to go again, then
— surprise—come back yet again)
and gazillions of newbies (some of whom are now oldies)
ask the same questions again and again (and in the case of the question,
"So if the Real World 'Blows,' how come you waste so much time watching and posting here?" it's again³).
So — with only a little further ado, we proudly present the PlånetSocks FAQ. Do you want to be popular with the cool kids? Read it, learn it, live it. (And if you ever forget the *official* answer to a FAQ, "Because
it's fun to us" is a good, all-purpose substitute.) This is the first step in learning the PlånetSocks secret handshake
— plus it makes you look smart to be able to
respond to a question with a knowing "RTFFAQ."
But before we
commence answering your questions, we have two questions to ask of you.
Question Categories:
Site History
Excuses for Breathing
Board Stuff - Introduction
Board Stuff - Moderating Policies
Board Stuff - Technical Questions
Miscellaneous
Board do's and don'ts for the thickheaded
Site History
-
What was
Real
World Sucks (RWS)?
The egg from which RWB, and
eventually PlånetSocks, was hatched. Started by a very cool guy in Seattle, RWS
was primarily a message board for those pissed off about what the show was doing
to the town, but it soon took off as the definitive anti-RW site on the web. It
eventually imploded in early 1999, primarily due to one 24/7 flamer who never
could figure out where the joke ended and psychosis began (don't ask, we don't
like re-living the bad old days) — with RWB starting up less than 24 hours later
(see next entry).
-
Who started RealWorldBlows (RWB)?
Since many of the posters on RWS had been together for almost a year, the sudden
realization that RWS was gone came as quite a shock. In fact, RWS shut down
temporarily for about three weeks a few months before the final closure, and many of the
site's message board posters kept up daily ramblings through broadcast e-mails, IMs, and chat. One of the regulars
— corndog — realized that
RWS had become a daily addiction to many (himself included) and came up with the name "RWB" and a butt ugly
home page just a few hours after RWS locked its doors. In a matter of days, most of the regulars let one another know about the new site, and it was back to business as usual. Another regular, DogStalker (DS) was, and continues to be, the driving force behind the look and feel of the new site and for branching out into covering other shows
(Survivor, etc.) — plus he put up the cash for the various PlånetSocks domains and the message board script
— but many of the regulars (both old and new) have contributed stuff.
-
Who pays for all that pricey bandwith your site must be eating up?
You do! Well, at least since the fall of 2002 you do. Before
then, DS had been foolishly draining embarrassingly large sums from his wife's
modest earnings to keep the site online. It was insane and eventually his
wife cut him off. Now, rather than resorting to odious banners and
pop-ups, we went the voluntary donations route.
I can see by your question that really you are coyly fishing for ways you can
support site. You can find out at the
Donation page. Thank you for asking.
Excuses for breathing
-
Why are you all so mean to Real World/Road Rules, Survivor, Big Brother, etc.? I love those shows!
PlånetSocks started with RealWorldBlows, which was established to give a forum to people who saw that the
Real World, its production company (see #35), and its liberal editing practices were not necessarily good things
and were begging for ridicule, and we happened to be the right guys for that
job!
PlånetSocks' main mission is to provide a venue for entertaining
ourselves by
posting/ reading humorous (we try) takes on the various shows. We are not on any kind
of holy crusade to shut down the shows. We just want to have fun. The humor-impaired are strongly encouraged to consider trying another site, thank you.
-
Why don't you all just get a life? You must all
just be jealous RW/ Survivor/ BB rejects!
Wow! We sure never heard that before! Although the age range here is quite wide
— from diapers to uh, much larger diapers, and every age in between — the average poster is in his/her mid to late 20s with a college background, a real job, real responsibilities, real romances, and even real families. We, however, welcome anyone with the ability to entertain. Most were introduced to reality programming via
The Real World, and have seen it devolve from a very cool idea involving people our own age, to the mess of a piss-poor soap opera that it has become today. Overall we understand that what we see on the screen
— both the people and the situations — are far removed from the "real" real world. Tearing down these crappy and insignificant TV shows and the sad cartoon characters the editors parade before us each week is just our idea of fun. Considering we have several thousand lurkers for every regular poster here, we are not alone in these thoughts. If what we do upsets you so, change the channel
— or better yet — follow your own advice.
-
So if RW/Survivor/BB sucks/blows, how come you spend so much time watching and posting here, blah blah blah?
Because, as you have probably already decided, we have no real lives and our mommies won't unlock the basement door. Are you happy now? We have all tried so hard to bury those demons and make the voices stop
— but you just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? Jesus Christ! My head! Not again
— I don't want to kill again... Goddamnit! Where's my fucking Prozac?!?!?! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!
-
You guys are weird.
And your first clue was...
-
What's with the ad banners? Media whore much?
What ad banners?
Board Stuff - Intro for Neophytes
-
I am new to message boards. Should I post on yours?
No! This board is not suitable for message board virgins. Go somewhere else to learn the ins and outs universal to all boards first. If you decide to post anyway (fucker), make sure to read the rest of the FAQ first, and particularly click here for a detailed list of guidelines for our board in particular.
-
I'm a teenager. Should I post here?
No! You probably shouldn't even be reading this! With rare exceptions, teenagers misinterpret too many things and tend to get overly emotional about everything. You're all hopped up on those pure uncut mindfucking hormones! You and everyone else here will be better off if you just go away now.
-
I'm well over 20 and I've participated on lots of boards. Should I
post on yours?
Not yet! Everyone, whether board virgins or board gigolos, should read the entire FAQ first and take some time (days at least) to read prior threads and get a feel for the vibe on the
boards before jumping in. If you don't fit in with the vibe, don't post. There is a certain aesthetic we are shooting for on the board. It's hard to define, but "vile cynical levity with a heart" comes close.
That said, let us state for the record that new posters (who follow the guidelines) are absolutely welcome here.
There are newbies who dazzle us with their moxie, while there are many, many, many (did we mention "many"?)
old-timers who suck like they invented sucking — a recent exhaustive
study funded by the American Message Board Association has proven
conclusively that there is very little correlation between post count and
post quality.
Always remember, lurking is a virtue.
(Ok, we admit, the previous 3 questions weren't true FAQs, they were more like our fantasy FAQs.)
-
Why is it all "old-timers" and "newbies"? Can't we
all just get along?
Many of the old-timers here have "known" each other for well over four years now. In that time, many friendships, both on and away from the board, have developed (bodily fluids have been exchanged,
shacking up has occurred, but we are still awaiting the first PlånetSocks wedding... Anyone? Anyone?). If you were ever the "new kid in school," you will better understand that it takes a little time to get to know the kids that grew up together. Make sure your posts include some humor, report some interesting facts, give new insight into something on the shows, or raise a thoughtful question, and you'll eventually get noticed. Do it often enough and we will teach you the "secret handshake," which includes the right to moan about a new
newbie's "me too" type post.
On the other hand, there is a dark side to
old-timer happy fun camaraderie as it sometimes manifests into unpleasant
phenomena such as The
Cyber Sisters or The
Swarm. There are few things that make us cringe more than seeing a
gaggle of old-timers prance to the "defense" of one another without regard to anything other than their sickening notion of "board
friend" and their comical conceit that "i like her, so back
off" should carry weight as a meaningful argument.
-
Nobody ever responds to my posts. I'm the ultimate thread killer. What
am I doing wrong?
The number of responses to a post has no correlation to the quality of the post or to the number of people who enjoyed it. Some of the worst posts get many responses. Some of the best get none. In fact, we prefer that
nobody respond if it's just to let you know they liked your post. If you need a lot of responses to feel adequate, please don't post here, and especially don't post, "Why doesn't anybody reply to my posts?"
On the other hand, it could be that you just suck.
-
What's a "butthead"?
A board administrator -- someone who holds in his/her hand the power to delete
posts and otherwise screw with what ends up on the boards. The term
"butthead" derives from a little icon that at times may appear in an
admin's posts. Sometimes the icon looks like a "Sorry" game playing
piece, but at other times, the icon resembles that dashing young lad seen with Beavis. Currently, six people, DS, AC, Weezie, wench, dipes, and Neckbone
hold the "butthead" title — but money talks.
Please do
not contact the buttheads directly about site matters. Questions
concerning the message boards or PlånetSocks should be sent to buttheadsNO@SPAMplanetsocks.com.
Board Stuff - Moderating Policies
-
You delete posts?!?!? This is America — what about free speech?
No — this is not America, *this* is PlånetSocks, and here speech has a 98%
discount — but it's not completely free. There are many types of posts that we may
delete (see this list for examples), but the four types
below will almost certainly win you an instant deletion and, if it's bad
enough or you are a repeat offender, a ban for life.
-
PlånetSocks
will not allow the disclosure of personal information on fellow posters,
including, but not limited to, real name, address, phone number, school,
or work place. This is an anonymous forum. Anyone can voluntarily fill
out a profile with the information (fact or fiction) that they are
comfortable revealing and a "Profile" button at the top of
their post will let you read it. Any info not in the profile is off
limits on the boards. We also majorly frown on posting the various
shows' cast member personal info like that mentioned above.
-
PlånetSocks
will not allow racist, homophobic, or misogynistic (look it up)
bullshit trolling just to spark a fight. At least we hope it's just
trolling. If you really mean that hate-filled crap you spew, please do
the world a favor and kill yourself. Thank you. (These posts are always
deleted because racist/ homophobic/ misogynistic beliefs are not
valid, and while it's easy to explain why whenever it comes up, we
aren't going to waste time on this board trying to educate the
ignoramuses who almost never change their mind anyway.)
-
PlånetSocks will not allow continuous flaming just for the sake of flaming. Yes
— flames are a part of the Internet, and a flame that uses wit and humor to shred someone else's thoughts or arguments is fun for everyone. However, once the line is crossed and the attacks become very personal and/or non-stop
— you risk a major spanking. Many of the posters here are a little older, net-savvy, and able to hold their own in a mini flame war and understand where "the line" is. Learn from them.
-
PlånetSocks will not allow board spamming. "Board spamming" (or "multiple posts") is posting the same message several times. Shut up! We heard you the first time!
Remember, you are always free to go on over to any of the other 7.58
x 10³³ sites out there to express your incessant blatherings.
If your post gets deleted, please get the fuck over it. Nothing that bad
has happened. Your life will continue
to suck just as much as before it was deleted.
-
Hey, you fascists, why do you lock threads?
"Locking" a thread makes it read-only (you can no longer post a reply to it). There are some threads that don't annoy us enough to delete them, but we still want that topic to die, die, die! Threads may be locked that have degenerated into endless back-and-forth discussions that are getting nowhere, or into chatty personal discussions better suited for
e-mails/chat room, or that are about horses that have been beaten to a nauseating death in many prior incarnations.
Please
keep in mind that locking the thread doesn't necessarily mean we don't like the
entire thread (although it might). Locking isn't the same as deleting. If
we hated the thread altogether, we would have deleted it. Locking just puts an end
to that particular discussion. Sometimes a thread will reach a state of perfect
grace and we lock it up before it can be spoiled by the addition of any superfluous
replies.
FYI, locking and deleting threads are solely up to the whims and tastes of the buttheads. There is no review or appeals process about
deleting/ locking. We do try to be conscientious about thinking carefully before deleting anything, but sometimes we may delete things if my bastard life partner hid the remote from me again.
"Hey, not fair!" Yes, that's right.
-
I like censorship too. I was 'hall monitor of the year' for three straight
years at my school. How can I let you know about a post that you may want
to delete?
If you see something on a board that shakes the foundation of all that you hold dear and true, you can click on the "Alert" button at the bottom of that post. The "Alert" will be sent to the buttheads, and they will either agree with you and delete it, or they will ignore you, you whining crybaby. (Typically, in about 3/4 of the Alerts we receive, we do delete the post in question, but recent examples of Alerts we have ignored are: waaaah, they said "cunt"; waaaah,
they said "spit or swallow"; waaaaah, they said "Colleen lacks flair.") Keep in mind that the buttheads are not on-line 24/7 (our employers expect us to actually work once in a while
— the nerve!), so it may take some time for action (if any) to be taken.
-
Oh yeah! What's with the #####s?
This board has the ability to ban certain words. The feature was designed
to keep offending words from corrupting innocent minds, but since no one
here really gives a fuck about that (see), it is used for fun — well, mostly for fun.
Recently, we have decided to ban some words because of
some pinheads who don't know better than not to use them. But, other than
imposing a check on those asshats, the handful of "banned"
words are either inside jokes (like "peanut") that wouldn't make
much sense unless you were there, or they are overused words (like
"lmao" or "I heart") that are banned in order to
encourage better-worded posts.
By the way, we are aware that there are those of you who aren't too fond of
the #####'s, but we don't care. We like them, they make us laugh, they are
staying, l-o-l!
(As of August 2001, the #####'s have themselves been censored.
Banned words will now be replaced by an ever-changing collection of random
words or phrases tailored to meet the ever-expanding needs of our cherished
board users.)
-
Deleting? Locking? Banning words? Why go to all that bother?
All of the actions we take with regard to what ends up on the boards are done with the intent of making this place more entertaining for us and for you
— but mostly for us. As stated above, this site was started to amuse ourselves. Our main hope is to create an environment that encourages being
Funny/ Interesting rather than being Humorless/ Mean/ Trite/ Boring. We want to discourage posting
by anyone who doesn't at least try to entertain us or inform us with something new. It doesn't always have to be funny, it can just be something interesting, but we generally prefer funny over interesting (especially on the Politics board). It does have to be something new and of your own original creation. We don't want this place to be just another board where everyone says whatever trivial bullshit is on their mind.
Please think twice — no, three, four, or five times — before you post, and ask yourself, "Am I being funny enough? Will more than one person come away with a smile after reading my post? Am I saying something that hasn't already been said 2,347 times before?" If the answer to all those questions is yes... Stop! Don't post yet! Go away for three or four hours and think it over again. Please. Your fellow boardsters will appreciate it. Now --- is the answer still yes? Okay... hit the post button... no, wait! Maybe you need to think about it a little bit more.
-
You delete my posts all the time and I thank you because I do suck, but
why do I see posts that are just as sucky as mine that you do nothing about?
There are several possible reasons:
-
We didn't see the post. (We don't read everything.)
-
We didn't think the post in question sucked (by "suck" we don't mean simply that it wasn't funny, we mean that it violated our general guidelines).
-
Some people have earned the right to suck once in awhile, so we let them.
-
We just got laid, and so for an hour or two that day we didn't feel the need for that little satisfying rush we get from
the sense of control that is lacking in every other area of ours lives, and that we can only approximate by obsessively deleting posts all day long.
-
We don't like you. We do play favorites. Most everything we do here is completely arbitrary. If you don't like it, go away.
-
You locked my post that said "I like Felicity's hair." What's
wrong with posting about stuff I like?
We like liking stuff too, but we don't find it very entertaining to read
about what you like. For whatever warped reason you can think of, we would
rather read about what you don't like. Vile cynicism is what we like. Our
site is called PlånetSocks for a reason. We're not going to tell you
the reason, but we will tell you that it was called PlanetSucks.
See? We like talking about stuff that sucks. We don't mind a
certain number of positive comments in the OT boards and the general TV/
Music/ Movies/ Sports boards, but only if you say something more than just
"I like x, y or z" and nothing else. (You should try to
include an explanation about why you like x, y, or z.) If you are going to
write about something you like, you better at least make it fascinating.
There are plenty of sites that welcome happy fan stuff. If you need to express your inner fan-child, please try one of them. Don't count on this one board to fulfill all your internet interacting needs. Don't make this board the totality of your internet experience. This board is not meant to be all things for all people. It has a specific focus (do we need to say it again?). Don't be lazy. Get out and explore the information superhighway!
(Super duper bonus background info: There was a time (before Survivor)
that only the most offensive posts
were deleted. We never bothered with the fan posts or the lame posts. This
applied to the OT boards as well. There were always plenty of clueless jackoffs
who would post here without getting what the site was about. In fact, the
fan/lame-o posts were not always completely unwelcome — they could bring out
some entertaining mocking responses. What is different now (after Survivor,
a popular network TV show) is the overwhelming quantity of fanboy crap. We
ignore it (mostly) on the boards with slower traffic. But on boards that
get busy, if left alone, all the fanboy shit would dominate the kind of posts we
enjoy reading (because the clueless and the fanboys tend to be tireless posting
freaks). -- If you want to tell us it's all a losing battle, we can't hear you!)
-
I'm just trying to be friendly and nice to other posters. Why do you
always lock or delete my posts? You guys must be assholes! What do you
have against being nice?
Nothing — when it's in real life. But the board isn't the same as
an in-person setting. We are actually quite congenial in real life — if you
met us, we wouldn't dump a bucket of human waste on you... probably.
However, we find that being overly friendly is not much of a virtue
here. It doesn't make for good board reading.
Other boards may
welcome chatty socializing, but the mission of this board is to entertain
with caustic humor — not to discuss the weather or your newly-purchased
kaftan. Original, unique, and challenging content is what we value. "Hi!
I like to eat Pop Tarts too!
" just doesn't do it for us. Please take that
kind of discussion to a
chat
room or e-mail.
We often (everyday) wonder why some of you ended up at a site that was called PlanetSucks.
Further, there are plenty of sites that welcome friendly chatty stuff. If you
need to express your inner chatty self, please try one of them. Don't count on
this one board to fulfill all your internet interacting needs.
-
Then why do you have the
Dear PS board and
The Me Board?
Good question. Reading those
boards' descriptions offers a clue. They are meant to provide more
fodder for more humor.
The intent is that people will post (hopefully
entertaining) questions or personal stories, and then other people will bust
our guts with their replies. If you do post to ask for advice, you may get
some actual helpful answers, but don't count on it. And if you reply to
offer advice, your prime directive should be to amuse, and not to help.
Anybody is welcome to post about serious personal issues on those boards,
but be warned that anything you say there or on any other board, no matter
how serious the matter may be to you, can and will be used against you in a
court of mockery.
And anybody is welcome to offer help or support, as
long as they do it an interesting or diverting way.
See #42.E below.
If you hold something very sacred or solemn that it would upset you if it
were derided, criticized or made light of, then you probably shouldn't post
about it. The purpose of the board is not for expressing and sharing in
moments of unassailable reverence — it's for the exact opposite, and
there's a word for it, and oh bother, I can't think of it right now — anyway
the point is to make our sides ache and not our hearts.
If you want
to express your personal sorrow or triumph in a completely safe and
nurturing webspace, you might oughta seek out another board. Good luck and
best wishes to you!
-
I'm just trying to be nasty and insulting to other posters. Why do you
always lock or delete my posts? You guys are hypocrites! What do you have
against being mean?
Like it says in #15.C above, flames are OK as long as it's done creatively, and as long as that's not all you do, and as long as you don't repeatedly flame the same person and carry it over to other threads, and as long as the flames are not gratuitous, undeserved, or uncalled for. Otherwise, knock yourself out, you jackass!
On the other hand, you are encouraged to feel free to insult the shows and anything else in the mass media as much as possible. It may be hypocritical, but if you don't like it, I think you know what you can do.
-
Those sumories you guys rite are what SUX — HA! HA! HA! Y don't U let me
rite them, cuz I'm the funnyist one here!
Don't call us, we'll call you. The summary writers are hand-picked by the
buttheads because they have written things on the board that made us laugh like
little girls. There's room for all kinds of humor in the world, but on this site
it's what tickles us that matters. Multiple summaries cropping up on the
message board is a new phenomenon, and one we don't care for much. Regardless of
the quality, it's tedious and repetitive. We have seen a couple that we liked,
but they are in the minority, sadly, and they still irritated us. Itching to
write an unofficial summary? Stop. Think. Can your creative juices be
transmogrified into some other kind of "flow?"©¹ Haiku anyone? Song?
A love letter to Ruthie's thong? Transcripts from Richard's court date? KA-1A's
WoManifesto? No? Oh, well. We won't stop people from posting their own renegade
summaries (for now), as long as they clearly state at the outset that it's not
the official summary. Any unofficial summary that does not indicate in
the subject line that it is an unofficial summary, will be
deleted. Know, however, that no matter how many summaries are posted on the
board, there is only one that has the Official PlånetSocks Seal of Approval
and is permanently part of the site's archives to be read by (literally) tens of
thousands of people (many times more than would see them on the board alone).
All of the "official" summary writers were invited by the buttheads
to contribute based on the consistent quality of their posts. In writing a
site-worthy summary, a wicked sense of humor and an eye for detail are just as
important as a decent vocabulary and at least the most basic understanding of
the rules of grammar and sentence structure. However, we always need fresh meat.
Yes, semi-newbies have been asked to write summaries before, so dazzle us with
your non-summarizin' "flow"©¹ and you just may get your shot at PlånetSocks
media whoredom. Wow! It's just like being on the show itself, but without the
nudity and self-loathing!
¹David, RWNOLA, has sole ownership of this term. Use it on the board if
you must, but use it sparingly, as he charges us 50¢ each time.
-
What about the movie summaries, music reviews, and other writings that I
see on your site?
While most of the non-television-related summaries originated as a post on
our message board, we do accept — and, if you're funny, encourage — unsolicited summaries of
movies, music concerts, and general rants.
If having your work on display at the Worst Fucking Site Ever gets
you off, send something worthy to
buttheadsNO@SPAMplanetsocks.com.
Maybe you will get noticed.
Note: Anything sent to us or posted on our message boards becomes the
property of PlånetSocks.com. (We're going to get rich at your expense.)
See our Terms
of Service for further details.
Board Stuff - Technical Questions
-
Eeeeeek!!!! I can't find my post?! What happened?!!!
There are several possibilities:
-
Maybe it was deleted (see #15 above).
-
If it's an old post, maybe it got pushed off the board. Each forum
can hold up to a 100 threads, and so when a forum reaches its limit of
100 threads, each time a new thread is posted, the last thread (the one
at the bottom) gets pushed off the edge of the board into the abyss
(irretrievably deleted).
-
Maybe
it was archived. Some posts are rescued from the fate of the abyss and
are archived to be saved in perpetuity for
posterity. You can read the archives of each forum by clicking on the
"Archive" link in the upper right corner of the forum page.
-
Maybe it was moved to a more appropriate board. For example, you may
have posted on the Road Rules board about Eric Nies, but everyone knows that would be simply craaayzzzeeee! Eric was on RW and he was on the All Stars, but he was never on RR, you dummy!
When we see posts better suited for another board, we will move them, or if we are feeling pissy that day because the Dodgers blew another lead in the ninth, we may just delete the posts because it's easier than moving them, and it's more fun, too.
-
Maybe
it was sent to the Boneyard forum. Posts of very low quality get boned
(moved to the Boneyard) to provide lasting visible examples of unwelcome
posts.
-
Maybe your post ended up in one of the recurrent board black holes caused by board software
glitches.
-
If you posted on a board with staggering activity (not likely anymore), it's possible your post was drowned in crap and wasn't deleted at all.
Sucks, huh?
You can use the (unreliable) "Search" function to look for
posts made by you to see if your post was moved or archived. If you can't find it and are really very troubled about a missing post and would like to ask us
about it, we are more likely to give you an answer if you e-mail us (buttheadsNO@SPAMplanetsocks.com),
rather than wasting board space with the question, because guess what
else gets deleted or locked? Posts that say "Why was my post
deleted???!!?!???!!" See how this works? It's all right, precious. The
world will continue to spin without the knowledge that you think Alton has a
tight butt. Remind yourself to RTFFAQ again, shut up about yourself and talk about
the show, and be more funny! Or leave.
-
I have a question about my board account. I have posted before
but I tried to login today and it says my account is not activated. What's
the deal?
When someone fucks up too much on the board (violates our posting guidelines),
we will deactivate their account, and usually without warning. This means they
can no longer subject the rest of us to their drivel. Sighhh, if only real
life were like that.
If your account ever is deactivated, we'll save you the
trouble of e-mailing us by stipulating now that "You are glad you got
kicked off because this site sucks anyway; we are a bunch of power-mad
arrogant assholes; we don't know how to run a site; we let popularity go to
our head; the site is going downhill; it will suck without you; we are
getting rid of the best poster here; we will regret kicking you off; and
sputtering blahdeeblahdeeblah."
-
How do I get one of those little pictures to show up under my name in
all my posts?
Those little pictures are called avatars (who was the
pretentious webgeek that came up with this moniker?) To get your own, login then click "User Menu" then "Edit your
profile." In the "Avatar Image" field, you can either enter the url
(internet address) of an image file, or you can click on that "following images" link to pick one of the pics we
have available (just click on the picture you want and the filename will be
inserted for you). Don't forget to click "Update" when done.
As it says on that page, the picture will display best if it is already
60x60 pixels. If your file isn't that size, it's best to at least have an
image that's already square, otherwise it will be squished and stretched
like in a funhouse mirror. Please don't use too large a file (over 100 kb),
please don't use anything too explicitly pornographic or rotten.com-ish, and
please don't leech bandwith (use a url that doesn't belong to you) from a
site that looks like they can't afford it.
If you have an image file you want to use but don't have a url for it,
you can email it to buttheadsNO@SPAMplanetsocks.com
and we will add it to our avatar collection for you. Also if you have one
with a url but it's the wrong size, you can send it to us and we will resize
it for you.
One thing to consider when picking an avatar, some people get freaky
possessive over theirs and will get pissy with you if you use the same
one they have been using.
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I have heard tales of a page you have hidden somewhere containing the
most primo collection of carnival sideshow abnormalities and grotesqueries available
on the net. Does it exist, and where the HELL is it?
You must mean our
Board Visual Aid which has pictures of some of our bravest board
members. The page is
right here and at the bottom are instructions for sending in your own
select oddities.
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So you dogfuckerz have a chatroom?
Yes, you can
find out the details
here.
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I have pressed every button and link on the board and I still can't
figure out how to change the email address on my account. I could be missing
IMPORTANT emails from cuteny! Please help.
Ha on you. You can't
change it yourself, but you can send a note to buttheadsNO@SPAMplanetsocks.com
and we will probably change it for you.
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Ratings? There's ratings?????
Yeah so, what about it? Alright,
yeah it's kind of lame, but we kind of like it. It's a good way to say in
public the kind of courteous, complimentary things about other posters that
would get immediately deleted if said on the board. Or you can even say
something unkind. What fun! We find the ratings
system works best if they're not taken too seriously by either the rater or
the rated. It's all meaningless, you got that? THE RATINGS MEAN SQUAT.
(Yet, why do they discombobulate me so?)
You might want to consider that many other people may read what you write, so it might
be courteous to write something not so vomit-inducing as: "my mostest favoritest ever. a real cutie pie.
i love you to death. always love reading your posts. gives good music recommendations.
a great cook. a better friend. too cool for school. you give me goosebumps. you rock my
socks off. kisses!"
The ratings will be purged periodically to provide everyone a lemon fresh
start, but in between purges, keep in mind you can't go back and edit your rating, so best keep those rash
impulses in check.
If you're having logistical problems rating other users, there's not much we
can do to help you, other than suggest you log out and clean out your cache, cookies,
etc., and try monkeying with your anti-virus/firewall/security/script settings.
Oh and the topic
rating function is completely useless, so don't even bother trying it.
-
I have a question about using the board that I don't see in this FAQ.
Where can I get an answer?
-
For general help about the boards, click here. (This is the "Help" link at the top of the board pages.)
-
For detailed help with using HTML in your posts, click here. (This link is also available in the posting window that appears when clicking
"Post," "Reply," or "Edit.")
-
For detailed help using emotion icons (smileys),
click here. (This link is also available in the posting window that appears when clicking "Post," "Reply," or "Edit.")
-
For help with registering for the board, sally forth to the Registration FAQ.
-
For other board questions, first try searching through the
Board Help
Forum, and if you can't find your answer, you can post a question there.
-
If you still can't find an answer to your
question...well that's because you are probably a very nice person, a godsend to friends and family, who just needs to apply themselves a little harder.
Miscellaneous
-
Who is BMP?
Well, it's not the Survivor production company Mark Burnett Productions which
would be MBP. It's Bunim-Murray Productions!, run by Mary-Ellis Bunim, a former soap producer, and Jon Murray, a former documentary film maker. BMP is the production company that created
The Real World,
Road Rules, Making the Band, Love Cruise and a slew of similar projects that never saw the light of day. They, both the company and Jon and Mary personally, are frequently the subject (and victims) of the posts here, since they are the ones responsible for all the things we don't like about the RW/RR shows. Yes
— they *do* know who we are, too (Hello,
Mary, you scuzzbucket).
A popular game here is to come up with the most innovative explanation of what the initials BMP *really* stand for. Good luck, there are many creative people here and that mine is just about tapped.
-
Hey suckers, did you know that your site helps promote the shows you
claim to revile? The laugh's on all of you.
Did you know that Beth S. of RW has a big unsightly mole that sends me telepathic messages ordering me to sing
Franz Schubert's complete Ausgewahlte Lieder at Karaoke bars?
-
I was watching your show on TV last night and I have a question/ want
to be on it/ think you should rot in hell/ want to know how to write my
favorite cast member/ blah, blah, blah…
We think this was most eloquently answered on SurvivorSucks.com back in the
day, but it equally applies to all of the shows we cover:
"We at SurvivorSucks.com have ABSOLUTELY NO AFFILIATION WITH THE SHOW. We don't produce it, we don't air it, we don't star in it
— and we certainly have no control over it. We just make fun of it. So please don't e-mail us with your inane ramblings about network television in general, and Survivor specifically. We honestly don't give a fuck."
-
What is that weary faraway look on your face?
Oh, nothing, just longing for those days when we didn't need a Board FAQ.
Is Kamuela male or female?
Your guess is as good as ours.
-
Is your site owned/funded by CBS and/or Mark Burnett and/or BMP and/or
the PNAC?
No comment.
-
Will PlånetSocks pay my bills when I'm fired for reading the message
board all day at work?
Sure — anything for our fans. Please put together a summary of what you owe and e-mail it along with your name and address to: #####. Oooops!
That's one of the banned words too? That just sucks!
-
Lastly, because some people need everything spelled out in very precise language, here
are a bunch of (but still not all-inclusive) posting guidelines for our
boards:
Post if and only if you have something new and
funny/ interesting to say. Our definition of funny/ interesting may not be the same as your definition, but our definition is the only one that matters here.
Keep in mind that more than anything else this is supposed to be a humor
message board. Take it easy on the heavy stuff and keep it light please.
Don't start a new thread about something covered in another thread. Common board courtesy is to scan the board first. See
#A above.
Don't post the same post more than once or in more than one board. Spam always sucks, except when it's on a
stick. See #A above.
If you like a post, don't reply to it to say nothing more than "I agree" or "that was funny!" If you add something new and in addition to the compliment
that might be of entertainment value, then, and only then, is a compliment not just board blight.
This goes for the summary threads as well. Use a private message to lick
ass. See #A above.
If someone posts about some personal news, good
or bad, don't reply just to say "congratulations" or "i'm sorry." Expressing
empathy is usually a good thing but it's also not noteworthy, funny or
interesting. Only post if you can add something new and in addition
to your sympathies or support that might be of entertainment value. If you
can't figure out how to do that, then don't post anything. You can always send
a private message if you'd like to offer comfort or good cheer. See #A above.
Don't post more than 18 times in a month. You may not be sick of seeing your name on the board, but we are. See
#A above.
Don't reply to a thread just to "bump" it back to the top of the page. See
#A above.
Don't
make posts to experiment or practice with html or picture files. Instead
use the "Preview" button to test out your geek skillz.
See #A above.
Don't post e-mail forwards. If they were sent to you, they were already sent to us too. See
#A above.
Don't post music lyrics, poems, essays,
news articles, etc., unless you just wrote them. Don't use the board to post stuff that is available many other places. We want to see less copying and pasting, and more of your own original creativity. See
#A above.
Posting links and articles is ok only if you add your own original comments
to the post. Anybody looking for a dry news update can check out any of the
many news services
out there. We can especially do without those solemn weepy obituary notices
that so many get off on posting. We really don't need you to tip us off
when Bob Hope dies, we would have heard about it too, and we don't want to
read your post (that you entitle "thanks for the memories" just to give us
all a migraine) about your treacly memories of watching Son of Paleface
with your sainted Aunt Roberta. However, if you were to include a very
flippant comment or two about ol' ski-nose, go ahead and get your hardon
playing newsboy. See #A above.
If you ever do post an article or anything that you did not write,
please include a citation and/or a link to the source.
Don't post to ask
questions that can be easily answered by a simple internet
search. Really, just don't post any questions at
all. Only post if you have anything of your own to add. Whoever said 'there are no dumb questions' must have never read a message board.
Don't post "check your e-mail" notices. That's what an inbox is for. See
#A above.
Don't post "I got your e-mail" notices. That's what your e-mail "reply" button is for. See
#A above.
Don't use the board to send personal messages or "please e-mail me" notices to
anybody. The posts and profiles have icons that you can click to message
other users. If a user has disabled those icons, feel free to post to
ask them for their e-mail address, or to make yours available for them to use. See
#A above.
Don't start polls and don't answer polls. Polls are not welcome at this board. New original content is very welcome, not sterile lists. See
#A above.
Don't start threads about who your favorite (or least favorite) poster is or any other type of board popularity contest. Go back to
junior high. See #A above.
Don't engage in protracted back-and-forth debates/ flamefests. If you weren't able to make your point within a couple of posts, that's probably because you don't know what you're talking about to begin with. See
#A above.
Don't engage in protracted back-and-forth flirtfests. Some people like watching others suck face in public. We don't. See
#A above.
If you want to change or make a correction to your post, don't
reply to it with a new post to tell us you made a mistake. Instead edit it by
clicking the "Edit" button at the bottom of your post. See
#A above.
Don't play grammar police. If you noticed a mistake, so did most everybody else. It is pointless to mention it. Typos happen. We'd rather grade posts on content than on grammar. See
#A above.
Don't post just because you think a board is not getting enough activity. We'd rather see 1 post per week if it's a good post, than to see 1,000 bad posts a day. See
#A above.
Don't post anything racist or homophobic or misogynistic. See #A above and see #15.B above.
Don't post any advertisements. See #A above.
Don't post about which
celebrity/cast member you think is a hottie. WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ANYBODY
ELSE TO KNOW WHICH PARTICULAR CELEBRITY YOU WANT TO BONE?! Celebrities tend to be attractive, so feeling sexual urges for them is really not that
remarkable. Enjoy your sweaty daydreams, but
please keep them to yourself. See #A above.
Don't post to whine about other posters, the buttheads, or anything else about the board. Use the Alert button or use e-mail for your whining. Flame if you must, but no whining on the board! See
#A above.
Don't post on our board to talk about boards at other sites. We are not interested in any petty
rivalries. See #A above.
Don't use the Politics board to continuously parrot your party's platitudes. Please use it for expressing your own original ideas. That board needs more humor, less miasma. See
#A above.
Don't post just to say something like,
"Holly is a bitch. I can't stand her skank ho' ass!" Agreed,
Holly is one nasty bitch, and it's nice that you are bashing a cast member, but, most of us are over 13 with more than 2 firing neurons, so we lack the qualifications necessary to appreciate your style of humor. See
#A above.
Don't
believe that you can use the Off-Topic board to post about anything at all and
still be safe from deletions/ locking. See #A above.
Don't
post to say you are leaving the board forever. That way you won't look like
the tool that you are when you inevitably come back. We delete all goodbye
posts, and to spare them the temptation to return, we delete the poster's
account as well. Just shut up and leave, you self-pitying drip. See #A above.
Don't post to complain or talk about how someone else's account has been
deleted, unless you also want your account deleted.
Don't post to say only, "Hi! I'm back!" Most of us didn't notice you were gone or don't care that you are back. See
#A above.
Don't
make posts that say only "I like/don't like such-and-such show/ movie/
band/ etc. Who else does/doesn't?" That is basically a poll. Let us
know why you like/don't like such-and-such. And never end with a plea for
responses. See #A above and see the next point below.
Don't end your
posts with sentiments like, "Please discuss." It's stupid.
Discussion is already the purpose of the message board. The only time when a
plea for responses isn't stupid is in the "Dear PlånetSocks" board
where (duh) the point is to ask for advice responses.
Don't end your posts with sentiments like, "Let the flames begin." It's stupid and presumptuous. Nobody needs your permission to flame you, and if you have to ask for flames, you're probably not that controversial to begin with. It's just sad.
Use "n/t" or "n/m" in your subject line when there is no further text within your message. It will mean less wasted time for the rest of us.
If you are starting a thread, do so in the appropriate board. Yes, we are anal about this. Click on the individual conference lobbies from the main lobby to see a brief description of the topic of each board.
Don't post any pornographic or scatological (look it up) images as embedded links. It is ok to post the link without the "http:// " (e.g. "www.nastyimage.jpg"), as long as you also post a warning about the content.
Getting fired for reading the board is less than good.
Don't post any personal information about another poster or a cast member without their permission. See
#15.A above.
Don't overuse the emotion icons (smileys). It's annoying.
Don't overuse exclamation points!!!!!!! It's annoying!!!!!!!!!
Don't use ALLCAPS. IT'S ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!
When you want to reply to a specific post, click on the "Reply" button that is at the bottom of the post that you are replying to. To clarify, a "post" is an individual message, and a "thread" is a collection of related posts. When you reply to any post, your reply will show up in the thread as indented and beneath
the post you are replying to. It's just like the outline format used in this FAQ. The indented letters are like "replies" to the numbers. Each letter is a reply, not just the first letter "A." Likewise on the board, the indent is how you can tell which post you are replying to. It's not whether the reply shows up as the first one below the post being replied to. You see, more than one person can reply to the same post! I know, amazing! It doesn't matter who replied first; all the posts that appear in the first indent below that post count as replies to that post. I repeat, it's THE INDENT that lets you know which post was replied to. Further
(AND MAINLY FOR PIEBALD'S INFORMATION), to clear up a common mistake, if you want to reply to the first post in a thread, use the "Reply" on that first post (which is the post at the top of the thread); don't use the "Reply" that is on the last post of the thread because that would make it look like you are replying to the last post in the thread, which could lead to some very embarrassing misunderstandings. Now, everyone memorize these instructions and sing them 20 times every night before you go to bed to the tune of "If I only had a brain."
Posts
that violate any of the above may be deleted or locked, and anybody
that violates these guidelines enough times may have their account
deactivated. (We say "may" because there are exceptions to
almost every rule... but don't count on it.)
This last point isn't a guideline. It's just a big "fuck you!" to all the dense bricks out there who made it necessary for us to go to the trouble
of making our once lean and tight FAQ as idiot-proof as possible, turning it into the monstrosity that you see today.
The Saint Ilija fucks you too. FU!
