RW Bio - Nate, Seattle
The Real World Season 07: Seattle - Bio - Nate

By Kamuela
5/5/2001

The Invisible Nate Project
Click my right side to see what I'm made of!

Released to the Law Firm of Dewey, Cheetam and Howe under Court Motion 99-1023 for Discovery by Mssrs. Weezie and Kamuela pending Civil Suit to filed in Los Angeles District Court. The complaint is charging intentional infliction of severe emotional distress and seeking damages of $500 million. 19-November-1999.

FROM: BMP Research Laboratories
TO: Mary Ellis and Jon
RE: Final Choices for Seattle Cast
Date: 5-December-1997

Mary Ellis and Jon:

We have run into some difficulties with your final casting requirements. Although the genetic engineering department believes they can meet your guidelines, they are expressing severe concerns about releasing Nathan into the gene pool. We are also not certain that the accelerated growth program will have him ready by the casting special.

As per your instructions, we have successfully spliced Jon's genetic material with both Puck's and Syrus'. The result is astonishing. Nathan has only been out of rapid growth chamber for 48 hours and has already set the lab radio for all-country music, demonstrated a complete disregard for personal hygiene and made 5 drunken passes at Dr. Abercrombie. This is what you wanted, correct? Unfortunately, it appears that Jon's stupidity gene was a dominant rather than recessive trait, and we can't keep Nathan from charging headfirst into cinderblock walls. We tried to compensate with gene therapy from the material extracted from Neil, but the resulting rendition of "Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goal Posts of Life" in an English accent did not play well with the marketing division. Further, when we brought in Stephanie to coordinate with wardrobe, she told us that even she wouldn't have sex with Nathan as is.

Drs. Abercrombie and Fitch think there is a solution, but it will require your permission to collaborate with cybernetics. We understand that you wanted to hold off on the A.I. concept for the next season, but we need to implant the prototype control chip in Nathan for this season. The high tech boys and gals here assure me that Nathan will be ready for the casting special if they can use the wireless modem to continuously download instructions into his cerebral cortex. This way, he can be ready for the Whiny Co-Dependent Girlfriend Sub-Plot, the Antagonize the Latent Homosexual with Military Buddy Homoerotic Subtext Sub-Plot, and the pivotal Shamelessly Betray Your Best Friend to Score Bonus Points With Roommates Not Leaving Sub-Plot.

I remind you what's at stake. Early drafts of the Hawaii season have the Co-Dependent Girlfriend plot in the house itself. With the modified Nathan, we can test it on the demographic ahead of schedule. Please inform me immediately of your decision. We have a laboratory tour group coming in from the St. Francis School Convent School next week, and legal informs me that our liability insurance will not cover us unless Nathan is either caged or controlled.

Sincerely,

Dr. Peter Nutt
Director
Genetic Engineering Division

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