She Spies Sucks
Other TV 2002 - She Spies

By koteka
7/21/2002

While everyone expected this show to be a Charlie's Angels rip-off, it was more like a rip-off of Cleopatra 2525 set in modern times. She Spies is no Cleopatra 2525.

The show lacks:

1. Really, really hot women. Are these three the best that showed up at the audition? What is wrong with Hollywood? Where have all the Jeri Ryan's gone? Osama Bin Laden has won.

2. An attractive man. Baywatch knew that you couldn't have a bunch of artificially-enhanced women running around without the occasional Australian surfer stud sprinkled in for good measure. The handler of the She Spies crew is less attractive than Oscar Goldman and has the personality of Big Brother 3 Josh.

3. A positive female lead. James Cameron sucks, but at least he knows how to appeal to both men and women (disaster movie/love story in Titanic, hot woman who often gets drenched/post-feminist heroine in Dark Angel). She Spies is aimed at 13 year old boys. 13 year old boys without cable tv. And only 13 year old boys without cable. Lesbians will not hop on the She Spies bandwagon.

4. Clever writing. Not that anyone should be surprised by lack of clever writing, but the show went for the Xena/Hercules/Jack of All Trades/Cleopatra 2525 type of humor in which the show is ridiculous and it knows this and it ridicules itself. But it failed. Which means we are left to deprecate the self-deprecating humor. This just blows my mind.

5. Gadgets. Gadgets are why we watch James Bond films. Gadgets are why we watched MacGyver. Gadgets are why I wake up early on Saturday mornings to see that Olsen twins cartoon in which they play spies named Misty and Amber. She Spies lacks cool gadgets.

This show needs to be retooled. And soon. Simon from American Idol should become the new handler. Brent Spiner could get a recurring role to lure in the Trekkies. That Mary chick from 7th Heaven or one of those Dawson's Creek skanks would be a good younger sister to one of the She Spies girls. Plus humor, gadgets, explosions, and the girls getting wet. This show can be saved.

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