What I Done on my Sumar Vaction
by Theo Vonkurnatowski
English Compostion 101
Louisiana State University
I done many fun things on my sumar vaction. I went on trip acros the cuntry in a Shasta. Its' was'nt 1 of them Shastas like soda pop drinks you by at the Piggy Wiggy grcoery store, it was 1 of them Shastas that has 4 wheeles and you can driv it and slep in it and even it does did have a tiolet bow. I seen lots of funie things on my trip acros the cuntry. I tell you bout sum of them funie things now becus that is what my perferser wanteds us to do for this paper essay that will be tittled WHAT I DONE ON MY SUMAR VACTION BY THEO VONKURNATOWSKI. That is me I am Theo, Vonkurnatowski.
I gone with many funie poepls on my trip acros the cuntry I will tell you bout sum of them right now. James was my bestest friend. He had big mscules and he talkd like Kauena Reavs in that movie bout the surf boys who licked to rob banks. Sumtims I had to slep in the same bed as James on the Shasta becus there was ony 3 beds on the Shasta and there was 6 of us poepl on this trip acros the cuntry. I nevr did slep in the bed with Kathrin but Latrine did slep in bed with her. Kathrin was purdy and sumtims I seed her belly butt in but I did'nt not stair at her belly butt in becus then she mite not show her belly butt in no more to us all on the Shasta becus some poepls do'nt not lick them to have their belly buttons staired at any more. But it was a nice belly butt in and it was even clean and did'nt have no peices of lint in it most of the time. I sumtims have lint in my belly butt in but I do not poke at it most of the time. Latrine is a boy who was black. I did'nt not mind if he was black becus he was verry smart to me. Sumtimes Latrine and Kathrin wood go to the bathrom at the same tim but I think they was onny sharring the tiolet bow. I do'nt not sharr the tiolet bow becus that wood mite be messy. Holey was is anudder gerl who was on the trip acros the cuntry with us. James told me Holey had that time of month bout 28 days a month. I just luaghd at him and I stayd way from Holey becus she was scarry. Mascada was is the other last pirson on the trip acros the cuntry that I took in the Shasta. Mascada was black like Latrine but I never did'nt not seen her belly butt in like I did'nt not see Kathrins belly butt in. I think black people do'nt have belly butt ins. Maybe they do have belly butt outs like my baby cuosin Lesster. That was is all the poepl who was is on trip acros the cuntry in the Shasta with me. I am Theo, Vonkurnatowski and this is what I done on my sumar vaction.
We was is in Holeywood one time but Holey is not from Holeywood so do'nt not be confusicated. We staid in a motele with 14 storys and we was in the 12 story. I rod the elevacator 3 tims and James letted me push the 12 story butt in sometims.
When we was in Holeywood we plaid a game called Truf or Dar. It was is a funie game. You have to pik a Truf or pik a Dar and that is y it is caled Truf or Dar becus you have to pik a Truf or Dar. Whin we deciduated to plai Truf or Dar, James did'nt not lick Truf or Dar verry much so he hitted the wall with his big mscule fists of furry. James had a funny Dar to do let me tell you! He hadded to put champpoo on his head hare and he was onny waring a towl and his big msucles was shwoing and he hadded to wakl down the motele hall and askt some poepls in thar rooms if he cud finnish watching his hare in thar shwors. We did'nt not have no lukky luk at furst but then we met this man who lookded lick the used car sailsman that I did by my 1973 Chverolte Implala from back in Louisiana. He did have graesy hare the same as the used car sailsman. James wented in the used car sailsmans shwor and he did taked off his towl and finnishd watching his hare. James has big msucles in the shwor.
It was then it was my turn to do a Dar! I was so extincted about dooing a Dar. I had to stik the telafone on my cooter and do a dans for Mascada when it was my Dar. Mascada is black but I did'nt not mind dansng for her with a telafone on my cooter. The telafone did'nt not ring whil it was stiked on my cooter but if it did ring I wantd Kathrine to anser it. Kathrine is purdy and I think she is purdy even when her belly butt in isn't showng. She can anser my telafone cooter anytim if she wants to and I wont' not even lick at her belly butt in when she ansers my telafone cooter. I do'nt not have big msucles like James but Mascada licked my dans anyway and she did'nt not show me her belly butt in. That was my dar. I am Theo, Vonkurnatowski and this is what I done on my sumar vaction.
James hadded to do another Dar nexxed. We was is all of us all in the elevacator and James had to kiss Mascada on the lips. Mascada is black but James did'nt mind kissng her and I wood'nt mind kissng Mascada either. But she may have cooties. I never done had cooties but I did done have ringworm two times. I think they is bout the same cept I did'nt not have ringworms on my lips like kissng. One time when I was is 14 I kissd my cuosin Sherryl Ann Vonkurnatowski. She did'nt not have cooties but she slicked her tounge in my mouf and I bited her tounge and did'nt not kissd me no more.
Kathrine done a Dar afer that. I reelly did lick this Dar that Kathrine hadded to done becus she wored a bikeini and putted whip cram on her bobbies and her hoochie koo. I cudd'nt even look at Kathrines belly butt in becuas I was so imprassd with her bobbies and her hoochie koo and the whip cram. Sumtims I pee pee whip cram if I tooched my pee pee to much. Cuosin John showded me how to pee pee whip cram at my house 1 time. I do'nt not thunk I cudd cuver Kathrines bobbies and her hoochie koo with my pee whip cram. I did'nt not have that much whip cram in my pee pee I thinkd. I only hadded enuf whip cram in my pee pee to cuver one of Kathrines bobbies but I did'nt not to get to use my pee pee whip cram we onny ussed whip cram from the grcoery store that we bote. James then hadded to do a Truf and he told Truf that he licked Mascada the best. Mascada did'nt not lick James back verry much I do'nt not think. I am Theo, Vonturnakowski and this is what I done on my sumar vaction.
Latrine done did a Truf afer that and he did said he wantd to slap James but I did'nt not thinkd that is a verry good idae becuas James do have big msucles.
Mascada hadded to do a Truf where she hadded to say wich 1 of us Mascada she wood kikk Holey off the Shasta that we used in or acros the cuntry trip. Holey did'nt not lick that chooce of Mascada to kikk her off the Shasta. James said it was is day 26 of Holey's peerid. Onny 2 more to go and she then has a new peerid. I am glad Mascada did'nt not pick Kathrine becuas Kathrine has a purdy belly butt in and I am glad Mascada did'nt not pick James to kikk off the Shasta becuas he has big msucles and he is my best freind and it is hard to kikk big msucles off a Shasta.
We was is then dun with Truf or Dar and we gone to the Shasta and the Rod Master talkd to us. The Rod Master is verry verry scarry and he luaghes scarry too and I dun hadded nitmars bout him. The Rod Master mad us gone to the Empty V orifaces in Holeywood and we metted sum of the poepl who rod in the Shasta befor us onny it was'nt not a Shasta then it was is a Windowbagel. Thar names was is Choadwick and Krstina and Vents. I think Choadwick was quaer becuas that is a funie name and sonds like a quaer. Quaers lick to see boys pee pees and not girls hoochie koos but Choadwick did'nt not want to see my pee pee so maybee he is not quaer and just he has a funie name. Krstina probly has a nice belly butt in onny she was'nt not shwoing it to us at Empty V orifaces. She was is waring a suite at the Empty V orifaces. I am Theo, Vonkurnatowski and this is what I done on my sumar vaction.
Vents and Choadwick and Krstina givved us five thosend $. They sayed we hadded to cum up with or own missin to finnish or trip acros cuntry with. We thuot of manny idaes. I wantd to tak the five thosend $ and by a big cow that we cood all tip oer becuas that cow tip is verry dangreruos when I done did it befor. James has big msucles and wood be good at tipin the cow. But no one elss in Shasta wantd to do that becuas it is verry dangreruos so we decisoned to go to Las Vaygas and mary aech otter. Butt that was is a story for anuder day.
I am Theo Vonkurnatowski and that is what I done on my sumar vaction. Thank you verry much for redding this what I done on my sumar vaction.
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